Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Training for the Olympics

As I miss being physically active so much and am really focusing on exercising again, I often wonder why do i feel so darn physically tired. Then I remember reading from someone else a while back that recovering from brain surgery was like training for the Olympic. It takes so much mental strength that you feel like you are working out all day long. Its a good explanation, as that's how i feel a lot of times. For you who have had surgery, do you feel like you are training for the Olympics? haha That is how I feel a lot of times.... 

I have come amazingly long way since I woke up from my brainstem surgery. I re-learned how to sit, walk, eat. Thankfully didnt take me 6 months like I was told to expect. I had speech therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, Balance therapy. I still am re learning to write and slur my speech, get lots of brain fog and have a very hard time processing any new information. Have lots of sensory issues and tinnitus. BUT I am happy, because I focus on the positive and I KNOW how blessed I have been. My prognostic was inoperable and death, so you can imagine my honeymoon despite my deficits. haha 

I act and appear completely normal now, despite how i feel. I never dwell on those deficits. They are my normal now. However, most days, there are many things that do not show how much work i put in, like speech is a big one for me. I talk totally fine, however, I am ALWAYS "working out" my speech. To sound clear. The times I cant make the words come out as clear, is when I am tired, or dealing with sensory issues, like being in public with noise. Focusing, on anything, and I mean ANYTHING, is quite draining... its hard work!! My brain just cant multi task, so its one or the other. hahaha Its exhausting!! and being tired makes those things worse. Its a funny cycle. I say funny, because that's how i chose to look at it. I am NEVER going to pity myself.

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