Right now, I am in my hometown with the kids. Family and friends other than my parents and sister who visited in Cincinnati didnt see them for 6 years. After losing 2 grandmas that didn't get to see them again and all that happened this year...nothing is more of a blessing to see them again and I am so very grateful to be here.
The kids are growing so fast and so wonderfully, before I know it this precious time will be gone. As for me, it feels great for the soul so it helps the body. Haha We miss Jay but we know he is happy that we are and quiet time sure can't be bad! He deserves it and his mom has been with us a year now so they get to spend time alone:-) I'm feeling good. I get frustrated still that I don't have the never ending energy or strength I use to have, like carrying only one bag of grocery instead of 10. hahaha but I remind myself very quick that I was told it would be so much worse for a much longer time. I feel very blessed and still have survivor guilt when I hear of others... Everyday is different as far as focusing, remembering, processing and all that Neuro stuff goes but I try to be patient with myself. I never know what kind of issue I'm going to have that day when I wake up. One that is consistent is still having to focus quite a bit on things that was so natural before. However, I am forced to rest plenty here so my slur speech, occasional headaches and numbness only starts happening in late afternoon. I find it quite fascinating! I think it's a great sign that it's only when I need to slow down,because it's telling me that it really goes hand in hand with how rested I am and not just damage I can't help. So when my hand gets numb,I know if I don't chill I will start talking crazy. Hahaha. My right hand never came back but I made myself a brand new signature. It's really bitter sweet when I see older papers or recipe cards with my handwriting on it. I can't express enough how thankful I am that today's writing is more typed than written. Papers I do have to fill get very sloppy but at least it's not totally impossible for me to do and I'm just so thankful for that.
Well here was my update and I hope all of you are having a wonderful summer!! I am here until August 11 and should be back home in Cincinnati around August 15-16. This summer is going by so fast... heck this whole year feels like a blur to me... I look back and I am so confused when it comes to time frame, months, days... Ah!!
My last post was about an request for prayer for Chrissy, who was going to have surgery by Dr.Spetzler. I didnt update you because she decided to wait until she was 100% confident to have the surgery. I would of never left you hanging otherwise! Handing your life over into the hand of a surgeon, no matter how skilled, is not a decision that is to be taken slightly. She too was told it was inoperable, as Dr.Spetzler is the king of inoperable surgeries :) I am proud of her to listen to herself and not go forward with it until she has no doubts. Being fully ready and prepared is so important for a positive recovery! I have no doubts that being ready and happy made a huge difference in my own recovery. The mind and how we emotionally feel is so important. Studies have proven that the brain heals much better and quicker when there is little to no stress. Having to options to have this surgery is very nerve wracking... and there is no way to know the results until you are there, so being ready to face any scenario without regrets is crucial. Let's keep praying for Chrissy, that her Cavernoma wont bleed and cause more damage until she is ready to get this monster out and recover!
You can pray for me too, as I am experiencing some very intense stress swing. Is it not mood swing, its stress swing. haha I have never been one to stress and going thru my day feeling stress is something I am not used to... I was less stress stuck in a hospital bed not being to move than now. Makes no sense, but I cant control it... and that is something else I am not used to... I have always had full control of my emotions/stress.
Did I tell you I cant drink coffee anymore? That was so tough! I loved coffee... shortly after getting home from Rehab, I noticed I felt terrible not even half way thru a coffee. Its like I drank 10 coffee and not half of one. Heart palpitation, sweaty, dizzy and this internal jittery feeling. It makes no sense to me but that's what it is. So I drink Decaf, but it does the same, just not as strong. So, RIP coffee... I miss you!!
My sister and her boyfriend are on their way here from Montreal! Its going to be a full house! Its going to be so much fun! Only Jay will be missing. My brother and his girlfriend live here in town.
I will let you go with a few pictures :)
|With a childhood friend in Brockville,Ontario|
|In font of my sister apartment in Montreal|
|Here we are :)|