Just a couple weeks ago, as I Laid in bed, unable to sleep, I started to foolishly self pity myself over some of my life’ struggles. My loving husband laying next to me, his hands around me, pulling me towards him in his sleep… I realized that I was not alone despite what I am facing. I reminded myself of all the people suffering, alone, hopeless, helpless, and felt guilty for this short self pity trip I took. I may be facing some scary hardships, but I am mostly understood, cared for and protected.
The next day, I was surfing the Netflix and found a documentary on
Solitary Confinement. I never once put any thoughts into it. Never. Not
knowing anyone in prison, only knowing what I know from movies and Tv
shows, I never heard or researched such predicament. I was shockingly
surprised and my heart sank. I cried. Not only that, I sobbed… and I
don’t cry easy. I don’t remember last time I did sob. This has
completely changed me, and I hope, for the better. Why is there no
awareness over this matter, I don’t know…. Like millions of people in
this country, I was ignorant, totally ignorant, and now I am ashamed.
This could happen to your son, your husband, your brother… Dont get me
wrong, I believe in prison. I believe in keeping murderers off the
street, but this is more than that. This is simply unnecessary for the
vast majority of them. Most of the prisoners in solitary confinement
never killed anyone.
I have always believed in people. Everybody has a heart and in my
opinion, very few people on this earth can be characterized as “Evil”,
and I seriously thought that this type of predicament was only reserved
for the rare individual on earth that do not have a conscience , simply
to keep them from killing others, not as a living condition, but as a
measure of security. I was so wrong. To me, people are who they are
first. What they do is not who they are. We all make mistakes, some more
terrible than others, but our mistakes do not define who we are. Of
course I believe that murderers should go to prison! But please be sure
you have the right guys!! Did you know that there are at least 150
innocent men released from prisons every year, and that isonly the ones
that are cleared thru DNA? How about the ones that dont have any DNA in
After watching the documentary, I spent the day researching Solitary
confinement, prisoners in general, and one thing leading to another, I
tumbled across http://www.writeaprisoner.com
and decided to find someone to write to. I would like to at least try
to bring someone the sightless humanity sense they have left.
I have always been a very positive person. I am told over and over
that I am full of empathy and compassion. I don’t know how this seems to
be a weakness to some people. I don’t think about it. I just love
people. I always had the ability to understand every side of a story,
without judging anyone and still be able to encourage both sides. Some
people have called me a hypocrite, because I refused to take sides, and
managed to be able to be kind to both and encourage both, without
putting the other down. They don’t understand…. But I just see clearly…
that is how I can explain it. I think that most conflicts in life are
simply due to misunderstanding and quick judgment. Of course, If I find a
cause that I believe in, I will stand strong on what I believe in, and I
do see how important it can be to “pick a side” on certain issues.
People long to be understood, and the only way to do that, is to look
at someone’s intentions, and not their actions. However, society has to
judge its citizen according thru their actions, because they cant be
personal or close enough to judge one’s intentions. I wouldn’t be
surprised to find out a overwhelming high number of the prison
population being innocent, simply because some facts were left out,
circumstances were deplorable and no other proof than the failing human
instincts were used to accused someone. I also didnt know that it was
proven that if counting on identification of a perpetrator thru photo
only, the person identifying is 82% of the time wrong. 82% !!
I was so so ignorant… I thought the death penalty was only used to
execute the ones that are, without any doubts at all, guilty of gruesome
crimes that are inexplicable to the human race, And you know what… very
few human beings fall into that category anyway! I didnt know so many
men have been executed on death row simply because the court refused to
give them a new trial after DNA testing became available. A lot of
innocent men were put to death by a very faulty system!
I have always judge people according to their intentions. And when in
doubts, I give them the benefit of the doubts, always. I truly believe
that its very rare to know someone that is truly evil… and you know
what… I think most of the ones that are so, do so in a way that they are
not figured out. When people are judged by their actions only and their
mistakes, at some point, their humanity scream “look at me, im
suffering, im good, cant you see, im good!!” But no, one terrible
mistakes and we are doomed.
Friends letting go of friends after one falls hard into a pit of self
destruction, depression and guilt. Why not be there anyway, in the
worse of the worse, instead of trashing away like sour milk. Friends and
family members walking away from one another over desperate human
weaknesses and failures….
Nobody is a good, kind, nice guy one day, and overnight changed into a
heartless monstrous murderer. I would think its very rare anyway. True
people recognize who their loved one is as a person, they know his/her
heart and that is what they see, no matter the mistakes. Everybody with a
conscience, which is most of us, suffer enough guilt. Most people I
have seen (on tv) that committed a crime and admitted to it, wanted
prison, they want to pay, they understand why they are there. The ones
with no conscience are the ones we may want to send forever, but kill
them? I don’t know anymore?!! Isnt being in solitary confinement,
completely alone, with no physical contacts, no body to talk to and
nobody to hug, for the rest of your life, a punishment worse than death
itself? Of course I believe in putting the guilty in prison, but I dont
believe in the horror they are submitted to. You are not going to fix a
broken human being by isolating them like this. There are over 80 000
prisoners in solitary confinement in the USA, and more 75% of them have
never killed anyone.
I am a Christian, but I don’t preach. It’s a never ending inner
learning journey and I believe we all have to do it at our own pace.
Once we know Him, He takes care of the rest. I cant stand extremists…
either its religious, politics and other. Jesus himself dined with
prostitute and saved a heartless criminal on execution “table”. But
that’s just me. I have gone thru phases of rejection and madness at God,
but somehow always found my way back.
I don’t believe much in pity. I usually don’t stay there long anyway. We
all have our moments , and I do however pay a great deal of attention
and understand when others need that moment. Weither it is one hour or
one year, some situation in life need special attention.
It takes a lot to insult me and I am a strong woman so never worry
about what you are about to, or need to say. Say it like it is.
Authentic people are my favorite people. Its not important to me how a
person is personality wise. Goofy, serious, crazy, quiet etc.. as long
as you are authentic, you’ve got me.
I have always been realistic and like things for what they truly are.
That is probably why I don’t like romance, because its seem “pushy” to
me. However, if my husband wants to kiss my hand and tell me how much he
loves me, he can, but between you and me, I’d rather hear him say
“you’r the bomb hun” in between farts, because, well, that’s who he is.
Looks is something else so irrelevant to me. Something else people
can use to judge others. If you are not good looking enough, you are not
worth people’s attention. If you are too pretty, you are stupid or
slutty… people are never happy, really. So many times, I have been
judged by it, and 9 times out of 10, people were so so wrong… I am the
type of person that sit next to the maddest person on the bus, and you
know what? They are the nicest ones.
Why? because people needing Grace know it. The crave it. Give it to
them, without any judgement, without anything in return, and you will
not only help them tremendously, you will help yourself, too.