Like I said before, this type of tumor is called a Cavernoma. Mine is in the brainstem. Its a very dangerous area to have this in. Compare the brainstem to the cable that connect the computer box with the computer screen. Without it, the computer signal simply wont transfer to the screen. He showed me how difficult it is to access that area of the brain. You have to go thru the entire brain without damaging anything in the process. Its a very long distance when you have to be perfectly precise. At the same time, having a cavernoma in that area of the brain is more risky than any other parts, and the chance of it bleeding again and cause major strokes or aneurysm are higher. However, I am staying positive, because there are no uses for me to live my life always wondering when this will happen. He told me that at some point, I will have to make this very difficult decision… wait for something catastrophic to happen, or operate now and risk now. Not the kind of decision anybody wants to take. I am just glad its about me and none of my children. How could a parent decide something like that! Its almost like playing God. Wait, it IS like playing God!!
I feel good today. I am having one of those “good days”. I was so so dizzy for the past week… and when i have a lot of seizures (simple partial seizures), my foot gets really numb. My entire left leg, arm, face and foot are always numb, but my toes are usually good and when they are, i walk fine, even if i have to focus all the time on walking without feeling the rest of the foot. I feel “pressure”, but I have very little sensation.
I was told yesterday that this is permanent. It does feel better when i have little to no seizures. They come and go and are so unpredictable! Sometimes, i’ll be 2 days without any, and other times, its all day long non stop. When that happens, that’s when my toes get numb too, and i Limp when i walk. Its putting a lot of pressure on my right leg, and i never thought i would say that one day, but my hip hurts. hahaha I dont know if i will use a cane or not soon. I am trying to avoid it. Its spooky, because I’ll have a hard time walking, and the next day, I am fine! My right hand started to be tingly. The neurosurgeon told me that because of where my cavernoma is located, this willl affect my entire nervous system, especially my extremities… I was hoping I had a few more years before the right side gets affected. I dont want my right foot to get numb too, because then I dont know how i’ll walk.
I want to start doing Yoga. For some reason, stretching feels really good… i am always trying to stretch. Its almost as if my muscles get stiff and it feels good to wake them up. I never liked Yoga… but i will try it again.
This video inspired me to try: